Tail of rejections

Although I'd like to believe that I'm an ambivert (none buy that. They can bet I'm an introvert at the first meeting), I can listen to people and empathize. I'm a person who always thinks "What will the other person think?" and with all the good organizational skills and decent EQ - I thought I'd make a good HR professional.

A bubble of a dream. That bursts eventually. That's right - with every call for an interview I get, there is a bubble created in my mind. A momentary dream that takes me to a space where I work in that place and I mull over how it would be, and what I would like or dislike about the job. This happens every single time.

 And thus became a tale of rejections.......

Ever since I had decided to take up the one-year managerial executive program, PGDM weekend course, people advised me about the unlikeliness of higher pay - one is because it’s not a regular MBA degree, it’s a PG diploma, and two, it’s Human Resources of all things - there are very vague and very general assumptions about this field which I became aware of later. Not that it helped me in any way. And strange as it may seem, a lot of non-tech people advised me not to quit coding as it fetches more money (it’s easy to say without having to taste it, it's deep shit for me!). 

This tail of rejections (tail because it’s STILL getting longer) has taught me three things - 1. There are many tech parks in my city - I gotta see a few 2. There are many start-ups in my city - I gotta see a few 3. At the end of every interview - I felt like an airhead and the rest of that day is hard to live.

However, I could never achieve this one thing so far - to "think" in the middle of interviews which is why I loathed interviews! I'm sharing just a handful of experiences I have had in this 'tail of rejections', the rest are not worth a mention (with due respect to me!).

An MNC, investment banking firm -It was as if God was laughing at me right from the beginning. My second round was like a mock MTV Roadies thingy, and I'm the last person in the world to attempt MTV Roadies.

Interviewer: So, why HR?

Me: I say something..blah blah blah

Interviewer: So  Pooja, why HR?

Me: I say something more..twisted blah blah blah

Interviewer: So  Pooja, WHY HR? You say you like management, even a traffic police does just that, isn't it? So what? You have a software background, and hello! iOS is cool right? Making apps for iPhone? WHY HR?

Me: I say something more and different..blah blah blah

interviewer: So  Pooja, why HR? Have you discussed this with your husband?

Me: In my mind - Excuse me? What the hell? You go to hell!!  First I go through the fire drill (I was part of their fire drill and saw all the employees walk to the lawn area, and participated in it as if I were a part of that company) and then you make me wait for an hour on a chair next to the lift with prying passers-by, then you ask the same thing again and again, and even bring in traffic police from nowhere you moron! Now you're getting personal! It's my career, not my husband's!! I wanna go home!! I'm starving!! My phone's battery is dead!!

What I say - something...I don't remember...and he asked me to leave.

Another  MNC (like there is a dearth of MNCs in Silicon Valley) - so this was also for the role of IT Recruiter sorts and this office was so bloody far. Augus dropped me to the bus stop at 9 in the morning and I reached there by 11!! When I actually reached there, it seemed like I was playing gate-gate for fun on a Monday morning (slight hint with the MNC’s name there). I go to one gate, the security man shows another gate, I go to the other gate and the security shows another gate, and at the other gate, the security guides me back to the first gate. Argh! When I finally reach the lobby, the snobby HR took my resume, saw the word "Developer", circled it with pen and was like "I'm sorry I can't consider you, you don't have relevant experience!". Bitch! I came this far to hear this??! It’s a walk-in with a mere 0.00-0.6 years experience written in the JD...dodon't you know the meaning of ZERO you fool? When I went back home dejected that day, Augus was like "Never mind, you looked good today!" Aw!

I wouldn't elaborate on the various experiences I have had with my technical (for iPhone app development) interviews because I would be mortifying myself in my own blog post. But here are a few things that I can never forget in the whole experience:

Interviewer: he draws on a sheet while he says "This is class A, and I go to Class B from Class A, Then to class C. Now from Class C I have to go back to Class A in one call, how?"

Me: Ahhhh.....(I'm not yet thinking, my mind is bombarded with thoughts - I'm just overwhelmed by the brightness of...well..his eyes..he must be a whiz kid, imagine working with him! Omg! Where am I! He will not select me for sure - just look at how bright his eyes are! Like Professor Calculus of Adventures of Tintin!! ) Ahhhhhh......(Look at the name of this building!! ****** Innovation Campus??? They would want me to COME UP with stuff for the app... INNOVATE...Where am I!!!!!) Ahhhh.....now I think a bit...POP...I say it aloud - I use a call popToRootViewController to go back to Class A!

Some interviewer (some mediocre company): Now imagine that this table is a class, and there are boxes on the table with some balls - red, green, and blue balls. How do you represent this in a Class or Classes? and later tell me how to find out how many red balls are there?

Me: Ahhhh...I have a pen and a sheet of paper..so mentally... Ahhhh.....(I think 'Is this man out of his mind? It is like one of those probability questions he has just thrown on me...red balls blue balls green balls.....') Ahhhhhh...this time loudly as he is looking at what I have written - So I quickly write a class Table and a class box and tell him that when he says "What about the color?"..I go Ahhhhhhh....