Nov 8th, 2016 - This day was creating history in the west and the east for different reasons. In the west, Trump was winning the presidential elections and there was an uproar in social media and WhatsApp. Well, in the east, India went berserk with Modi's announcement of demonetizing 500 and 1000 rupee currency notes.
I did not have any of those notes, I hardly keep cash with me.
I was lost in a pool of muddled thoughts. His reaction was priceless, he hugged me so tight and started crying. That moment onwards, life took another twist altogether. So this was it. A new beginning to a relationship of hate-love that began a decade ago. It felt like it was meant to be. We were happy.
Look, I am not that chick from 'Shopaholic and a baby' who shops like crazy. Mine was a bare minimum, or I think so! First in my list was to buy flip-flop with fur to use them at mom's place - as the floor there is so cold always!
Nov 15th, 2016 - One of those days I am late again. Well, the story of my life. 6.40 PM was the first-ever-meet-with-
Nov 17th - I knew I am not the sorts who would crave for sour, sweet or fried. My only weakness was cheese. So Augus took me to this cafe in the neighborhood that we explored for the first time, cafe 'Hug in a Mug' - I binged on some pasta in pesto.
Nov 20th - This news had reached to very selected people in my circle. Well, on the flip side, Augus had propagandized everywhere, even to people who were strangers to me were congratulating me at an event in the apartment. Thank god I caught him before he put something on social media and jinxed the whole thing further.
My mom wanted to announce it to grandpa as he was battling life with the last stage of cancer. He had reached a stage where he could no longer talk.
When we did tell grandpa (your great grandpa), he was elated and wrote a letter saying he wished it's a boy and wished all the happiness to us (Don't worry, we would equally dance with joy if you are going to be a girl baby).
Nov 24th - We had had such a boring day at work and I told my buddy at work that I want cheese, less expensive cheese. So we went to the famous Hari sandwich in Jayanagar and binged on American corn cheese sandwiches and twisters - tangy!
Gosh! I hope my binge-on-cheese-marathon does not end up making me look HUGE! Err...
My close friend at work used to hide my lemon tea bags. Kid, you owe me for making me work without lemon tea for more than a year (addiction talking here). That's a bigger sacrifice than giving up cheese or vodka temporarily.
Nov 29th - The experience of the first scan is something unexplainable. To be able to believe that there is a life inside you and to listen to the little life's heartbeat is something so out of ordinary and special. Mom and Augus were there with me.
Slowly, the days crawled into weeks and weeks into months.
In the third trimester, at work, I was the cynosure at the restroom because I was found there oh-so-many times during the day, trying to give relief to my shrinking bladder. I was thrown with "You look so pale" to " You have lost weight" to " You have not gained much weight" to "I think it's a boy", "I think it's a girl".
Your paapa was so psyched about the pregnancy right from day one. It was as though a thunderbolt hit him saying "Do more, do big! This is the time." He was lost in his own plans and thoughts during the last trimester to the extent that he used to skip meals and have no time for literally anything. The dream of having a dance studio was back and this time around, he had my parents' back to support him. I took a backseat because, kid, I get overworked when it comes to organizing, planning and forecasting which Pappa hates. I wanted to focus more on you and keep myself sane from the already existing hurricane of emotions in me, thanks to the hormones.
Although sometimes I used to wonder - I am pregnant or your papa is? Due to work stress maybe, he was so much more sensitive and vulnerable than me - it used to get crazy at times with confused state of who should pacify who.
Your paapa took care of me crazy carefully. While driving the car, he used to design a route map to reach the destination based on the kind of roads, however longer it took than the normal route. Yes, we live in a super urban city, but the roads are no less than playing a video game when it comes to driving with a pregnant lady - the obstacles are many. There are humps. Big, small and the ones without any paint or hint that can catch you off guard. Then there are potholes and what I call ulta - humps that is due to the effect of weather on the substandard tar. Whether it is a mall, a get-together or a street, he was never shy to hold my hand and my handbag(s) and water bottle.
Post March, when I shifted to your grandparents' house, it was as if I am back to my college days. No cooking, no cleaning, no chores. No thinking about what breakfast to make the next day. When I wake up, my mom would be done with preparing breakfast and lunch. Daddy would have packed my lunch with the stack of boxes in a carry bag - 1 box of muskmelon slices for my 11.30 AM hunger break, 1 box of brown rice, 1 box of rasam or sambar, 1 box of curd, 1 box of palya or pickle, 1 box of cucumber to keep me hydrated, 1 box of salad - green gram with cucumber or carrot with lime for my 4 PM hunger break. Yes, I used to carry this picnic with me every day - with the intention to eat healthy home food, eat in controlled portions and to not starve during the day. I religiously avoided biscuits, maida, breads and everything else that would make you and me feel uncomfortable later.
All I need to do was wake up, brush, snack on 4 almonds and a handful of raisins, drink milk (Your favorite - happy pool!), then get ready, have breakfast, drive down slowly to the office. Even with traffic, I would reach office in 15 minutes - the best part!
I used to wonder that how the moment I started listening to music through my earphones, you were getting all active as if even you could listen to the music through my ears haha! But I googled that that's not quite possible, you know how much psyched I get listening to my favorite music.
Talking about music, you must have been rolling your eyes thinking "Who's the DJ?" SO many kinds of music - looping my old playlist of Outlandish Aicha, Hotel California, Eminem, new ones like Chainsmokers, my mom singing devotional songs close to your ears..err...close to my big belly to see how you react, your papa playing Tamil numbers to see you groove, my daddy playing his favorite classical tunes from YouTube to entertain you, me trying to listen to flute instrumental to relax you and me. Crazy right?
It used to get scary at work at times when I had to climb stairs to reach my workstation at the second floor. It is healthy and all, but I slightly tripped twice in the third trimester which was shit scary. And, I used to crave for my mom's food. So I used to do the climbing stairs exercise one more time to drive down and have daddy serve me hot food at home some days. This was for a few weeks until my manager protested this flexibility I took. Not because it is strenuous for me, but because, as a person in the recruitment team, I was supposed to be "in the building". Doesn't make sense right? A rough phase that was, there was empathy from everywhere, except my manager. So many male colleagues used to open the door for me or get my bags till the second floor, and some of the interviewers conducted interviews on the second floor just so that I can coordinate easily, and a senior manager avoided calling me till the cabin to discuss, did it through the extension landline or by coming all the way to my workstation. All that was really overwhelming!
Kid, you should know that your Amma had a life that was never separated from drama. So, I had a nice and sweet baby shower from both your grandparents side. Then, there was the big question. How will we have you named - the Hindu style or the Christian style. The name itself was not that controversial, at least in my head, I was ready with Indian names that did not incline towards both the communities. My parents did not want the obligation of having naming ceremony ritual arranged with your papa doing the pooja and stuff. Although he would have done it with utmost sincerity,, people would talk stuff. Anyway, you don't get into this. We will raise you in the most secular way possible. You will be visiting temple and church. You will be celebrating Christmas and Deepavali with us. You will be talking Kannada and Tamil. You will be relishing food from both the houses and styles. Nevertheless, your pappa and I would any day want you to be a good human being, more than belonging to or bragging about any religion or caste for that matter.
So, back to the drama part - we decided to name you in Christian style. Not the name itself, only the naming ceremony ritual. For this to happen, my name should have been entered in the family church that Pappa belongs to. My name wasn't added since ours was a temple wedding almost four years ago. So, we had to get married in the church your papa belongs to so that we can make the naming ceremony happen. Kid, you should know your mom by now, I am adamant and deep-rooted. I put my foot down that I am okay with the wedding barring the conversion. Your mom is a Hindu by blood and a Brahmin by ego. That cannot change no matter what people think or say. (Ahem, we would have yet another anniversary apparently, and this one will be super special because you would be a secret witness to it).
We had to run between the church and the Bishop house to get the no-objection letter that approved and allowed us to marry without my conversion. That whole thing was serious stuff, but your papa was so cool about the whole thing. He was like it does not matter if it does not happen, I will not let you convert, if we get married, it's okay, if we don't, it's still okay.
May 1st, 2017 - Family took me to a resort. To rejuvenate and relax and click loads of photos. My maternity shoot happened there. And there are awesome clicks, kid! I felt so good and pampered, and actually had put on some make-up after real long!
May 6th, 2017 - The church wedding was fun. Empty church with the reverend father Celestine telling us about the essence of marriage - funny how we got to hear someone talk about marriage to us, who were already married for four years. Sweet things like "Wife is supposed to stand on the left side of the man always, as the wife is his heart and we increase the man's life", "Remember that the needs and requirements of a wife are different" and so on. The wedding was over with few vows we had to take, it was in Tamil and I had no idea what I repeated. I remembered how Augus had no idea during our temple wedding and he had to repeat after the priest. So, here, we were even.
The funny part - after the wedding, we had to attend the mass that followed. During the mass, people stood up a few times and sat, since I was seated in the first row, I obliged few times and later mother-in-law signaled not to stand every time as it may strain me (the pregnant me). After the mass, random people who attended the mass wished for our marriage and this one elderly lady whispered in my ears " You should believe in God and show respect!". Errrrr I just smiled. Clearly, she did not know that I was pregnant (the white gown I was wearing barely highlighted my baby bump).
May 16th - visited Chamundeshwari temple, to pray for more power to go through (normal delivery) and to keep you safe in the process. Also, my best friends threw a baby shower, along with the other friend who was also due in a month. Sweet memories!
June 30th 2017- After twelve hours of labor pain, I had a C and you were out! In the operation theatre, I was alone, Augus did not come as he was freaked out. I was shivering because of the anesthesia. When the doctor said "12.39 PM, it's a boy!" and a nurse showed you to me. I could picture my grandpa who had blessed for a boy, I could picture my parents and Augus reacting when they see you outside.
Another page in life was turned and this time it was a new chapter called motherhood.
Veer, it is gonna be super fun raising you. Muah. Love, Amma.
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